i will lose weight

i promise you that.
never will i look like that.

florida is home

i miss it already.


philly is depressing.

apparently

i did well on the interviews cause i got into the program.
i got a full ride to ccp for at least two years or so!
i am hype, i start september 8th.



i also think im going to the poconos with jon when i get back from florida.
we're gonna do shrooms while we're up there.
hopefully i can afford this shit.

tampa, florida.

here i come.
i leave tomorrow :)
i get back sunday!

who the fuck needs men?
not christine romero.

im missing your voice at night time

fucker.
i hate pete.
im not over him and compare everyone to him.
im staying away from penises.
i need to exercise, focus on school, and work.
i need to fucking move out.




I NEED TO GET OVER PETE GARAY!

sex is triflin

especially with conor.

interviews schminterviews.

i got nervous and didnt know how t properly present my feelings or ideas on the program. fail at life?


im at work now and im seeing jonbomb tonight, hopefully.

are you gonna kiss me now?

and thats exactly what jon bomb did.
we went out to see a movie, went to oregon diner, and then chilled with matt, jim, chris, and aj. we smoked and watched the original make of night of the living dead.
goodnight?

me plus you

im gonna tell you one time.
is it weird that i think justin bieber is super attractive even though hes 15?


kev called me twice last night to try to convince me to go over to the party jon was having. and he was questionning what i was doing and what not. like if he cared or were my boyfran. i really wish there would be more than just hooking up with kev.

conor also tried talking to me yesterday. he offered me a place for just 250 a month. no down payment or utilities. its a pretty good deal. i really need to move out. but theres a catch. i might have to share a room with him. hes a big nympho and thinks we're gonna bang every morning. blahhh.

too loose for the same old crowd..

i hate kevin. he texted me today, i was doing quite fine without him until last night.
he wants me to go to jonbombs tonight and party. NEGATIVE.

im finally catching on.

hungover, perfectly describes how i feel right now.

i got home at 3am, jonbomb drove me home. the mac and cheezzest got raided by the fbi so the show was canceled. everyone was greatly depressed. jonbomb just decided to throw a party at his crib. kevin was there, awkward man! i was drunk and found myself staring/smiling at him but so was he. idk if jonbomb noticed, he was too busy talking about music with other people. everyone was there from people i liked to people who annoyed me to people who fucking hated my guts. it was fun though. the drive home was nice as well. as soon as i walked in jon texted me. the conversation goes like this:
jon;i just want to let you know that i do like you and to not be discouraged i havent tried kissing you yet, im just very shy.
me; its cool:) wheneevr youre ready, take your time.
jon; we should hang out alone and watching night of the living dead or go to the movies.
me; sounds good
jon; we should do it soon, like sunday...it could be a date lol

i knocked out at the point but i answered him this morning. i also had a dream about him, weird shit.

but i really have to clean my room, its a mess.

today is also the first day

i weigh 147.5 i guess biking with beckett all the way to manyunk paid off. we plan on biking there every other day. i want to do it eveyrday but he's a baby.

in my dreams im so deadly

alot has happened since my last post. boy do i lose track!

i passed the first round of exams at ccp. i passed the evaluations. and now im one of the lucky few that got asked to come back for an interview. the interview that determines if im in the program or not. wish me alot of luck.

jonbomb and i have been hanging out more. we hung out the next day and hes the cutest thing ever. last ngiht we went to a party and sara said he was all over me. hes so cute when hes playing beer pong. nothing else really happened at the party. im going to a show tomorrow, the mac and cheez fest. theres gonna be ten bands and i think jonbomb is taking me.

so kerri has told me that jonbomb has this crazy exgirlfran, cassie. this exgf stops me from wanting to get with jon. they went out for five goddamn years. and she says they're on and off. i also heard she isnt that attractive. we'll see how it goes.

i know its alot to ask.

today wasnt so bad. i still have yet to talk to kevin, maybe it for the best i dont? but i did talk to jonbomb. he fessed up, he likes me and thinks im attractive. we're hanging out tomorrow. im also going to ccp to taking exams for that gateway to college program. and ill get my new glasses, can you say hype? wish my luck? and that picture is of jonbomb ;)

i really shouldnt let this go.

because it helps me and i can look back and laugh at this :)
this weekend has been crazy. where to start?!?

friday; i went to that show. oh god. kevin was there, jonbomb and alexa. one big awkward situation! jonbomb paid for me to get in and bought me beer, and tried making conversation with me. kevin said hi but ignored me the rest of the night, i was greatly disappointed but relieved. relieved because alexa was giving me death glares and i didnt want her to beat me up for even looking at kev. nick mcnamara also was there with ema, joey, and ryan. actually alot of people i knew was there. nick was rlly nice to me and i was a tad bit mean saying he didnt need my number cause i never answer. everyone looked at me like it was the bitchiest thing ever, so i felt bad. later on that night, nick and i talked and he got my number. ryan brennan from cinnaminson was also there cause hes in one the bands, he got so talll. i went home early cause of work the next day, so i missed the after party. when i got home, kev called and apologized, jon got my number from chris and started texting me, and nick did as well.

saturday; i worked all day and fought with my parents. i denied kevin, jon bomb, and nick a hangout.

sunday; i worked in the morning. kev ignored my text. i had dinner at applebees with delilah and ricardo. then we walked off all the food. i went home and slept until jonbomb texted me to go to a party. christianna also invited me, so i went. they picked me up at 12. i invited sara. nick and ema were there. nick was walking beside me with his bike and i thought it was ema so i was like "you look cute" and then nick replies "what?" and i said "i meant you look nice" and he said "thanks you too", i wanted to kill myself! jonbomb tried hard to talk to me and sit next to me. and nick as well. awkward as well. i left cause my parents were bitching because i didnt tell them. i said bye to everyone except jonbomb because he was playing beer pong. all his friends said i should just go over there and touch his butt. i couldnt, i was too shy. 15 minutes after i left, jon texts me. and so does nick. all saying we should hangout and bahh. sara drove me home and i told her all about my parents and shit. i got home around 2 and fought with my parents. they want me out asap. i quit my job to work for them and nowthey fired me and i have no money.


crazy weekend or what?!!

catch you if i can.

kevin.
ive had the biggest crush on him since freshmen year of high school. how the years go by so fast. i absolutely adore everything about him. from his blue eyes, to smelly body odor, to his hands, to his lips. basically everything. hes funny, sweet, and such a sweet talker. now the only problem is his exgurlfran, alexa. theyve been dating for years, four to be exact. for the past year theyve been on and off. but apparently its official this time. i hope so. im trying not to like him but its hard. he called me last night to take a walk with him at 12 am. of course i went with him even though my parents told me i couldnt go out. we walked to some park, we sat there and chatted about exboyfrans and girlfrans. on the way back he sorta held my hand. and gave me a hug when we separated. we continued to text and he said sweet things.

last summer, kev and i hoooked up. more like we slayed. and he slept over and we cuddled. then alexa found out and now she basically hates my guts. if she found out about me and kev hanging out. shed do whatever to take him back, even pretend she liked him again.

so theres this other kid jonbomb, whose friends with kev. jon likes me,its a fact.
and ill be going to a show on friday where jonbomb will be looking for me. as will kev.


what shall i do?

cheater cheater pumpkin eater

that phrase makes me think of pete, except pete wasnt a cheater. taylor on the other hand is. he cheated on me last night, i wasnt really sad. more like shocked, hes the first to cheat on me. first time for everything i guess. at least he was honest. well since i am now single, im talking to kevin mcgonigle once again. he was a lover of mine way back when. ive had the biggest crush on him since i was in seventh grade. luckily hes now single too, bring it on. we texted all day and he made me smile alot.im not expecting much from him except meaningless hookups for the rest of the summer. how i miss his passionate kisses.

today i fought alot with my mom, great. i dont know she really confuses me, doesnt know how o compromise nor appreciate anything i do.i need to learn how to save money so i can move out, i cant take it anymore.

btw i typed this on my new laptop<33

now its over.

my mom threw my glasses away. how triflin. its been such a bad day. ive done nothing except sleep and listen to music. i watched a bit of tv and ate some pizza, fatty. no wonder i still weigh 150. i really need to lose a few pounds.

so the most random person aimed me today, conor. apparently he isnt talking to lucia anymore. first thing he asks me is " have you slayed this summer?" i say "yes, you?" and he replied the same. he then has the nerve to ask me if i wanna slay. i go on to say stop youre getting with lucia, i dont play like that. he laughs and says hes not anymore because shes never allowed out. then i go to tell him i have a boyfran,no thanks. HA!


on another note, i feel like andrew has been ignoring me? he hasnt returned my phone calls nor my text messeges. i miss andrew alot. i mean i like reagan but shes always with him and it doesnt help i dont like any of the people they hang out with.

well im off to do more sleeping because that boyfran of mine has yet to contact me, douche.

mother oh mother of all mothers

i went today for an eye exam. no raybans, i couldnt find them. i should have gone to lens crafters. i ended up with some pair of black frames. 200 bucks, woohoo. i owe my parents money.theyre holding my nikon d40 until i give them the money. worse news, i wont get my glasses until monday. thats a whole week away! i feel shitty, ugly and lost without them. i think im gonna try that white tape on them.

fuckfuckfuckfuck!

ridiculously drunk

isnt always fun. i went to some sausagefest in south philly. i was one of five girls present. i got really drunk to the point where i threw up, alot. i couldnt even bike home and was driven by some kids. my bike is still stranded in the dirty south. ive never gotten this shitfaced in my partying careeer. im pretty impressed i didnt end up with a handful of the faggots there in a bedroom. i stayed loyal to taytay, whom im starting to realize is worth my time.


he put up pictures of the show on friday on flickr, this one being my personal favorite. today i watched their video for their song HOME, which made me feel happy and peaceful.


today, my glasses broke. raybans here i come.
my phone also feel into the couch and it was quite the hassle getting it out. my poor little sister had to suffer a litttle pain!


well im off to bed because tomorrow is my first day working with my parents. btw my last day at the franklin was quite sad and hectic.

netbook

i just ordered it, im pretty hype.



taylor and i went to a show yesterday, it was really good. im glad he invited me and likes good music. he makes me happy. the band is called edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros.

good days are always pleasent

today was a pleasent day for various reasons. taylor came over and that was that. that meaning we slayed. slaying meaning we had sex. it was quite enjoyable.

then beckett came over and we had pizza and watched parental control on mtv. then we biked the city and ended up at the franklin to watch harry potter. and now im home watching scream 3.

boyfran

taylor.
so we made it official yesterday<3

did not happen?

i didnt get to seethe boys in pathway to providence. theyre playing another show on the 11th but i think im gonna be in chicago. how lame. ims oo mad, taylor got mad at me, and i got into an argument with my mom. it was bad.


anyway, i came home and then went to sushi planet. it was goood. i went with sandy, jordan, and kirsten.



other then that today was bad.

pathway to providence

i just found theyre playing a show tonight in west chester. i know i promised taylor to hangout but this is a one time opportunity, they're coming from florida to play in bumblefuck pa. i cant just let this go. ive been into them since like freshmen year of high school. i am going to this, even though it is an hour drive at some crappy coffee place.

cant say im sad to see you go

maybe i am just a tad bit, peter. ahhh, i occasionally think about him, sad? i dumped him and it seems he got over it faster than i did, why? cause i still had feelings for him but dumped him for his attitude. whateverrrrr.


yesterday was very depressing, mainly because of the rain. i get so lazy when it rains. work was lame as usual. i got home and vowed that i wouldn't go see Taylor until my room was cleaned. but i procrastinated big time. i ended up just sitting on my couch, what a bum. he seemed annoyed i didnt go, but i promised i would today after work with my parents. and im gonna keep that promise.


andrew came by last night to chitchat. we talked about reagan and taylor and school. my dog loves him, its ridiculous. andrew, i can say, is one of my closest friends right now. i trust him, i love him, and hes funny. people at work first thought we were dating, and then they started thinking we were brother and sister. now andrew is Vietnamese and im mexican but we both wear glasses and have dark hair.

right now, im in norristown. how lame.
im also thinking of buying a netbook.

luna lovegooood

im home from watching the new harry potter movie. luna is definitely my faorite character. shes careless and silly. i liked how most love relationships were observed. but i disliked the lack of action. im thinking of buying the books again and rereading them. but for that i need a nice bookcase in my room.


i have work tomorrow, but i also get to see taylor. he comes home from camp woodward, woohoo.


well, im off to sleeep.
lies, im gonna watch tv and surf the net.

waking up

to taylor.
why does he get up so early? cause hes at camp and has a job.

i wake up late because i go to bed late.
then im ridiculously tired the next day.
i have work at 12, so i have to be out of this house in 30 minutes.




television is gonna take over my life.
we just got comcast cable and internet.